Last night, a conversation with some colleagues wandered to the subject of named chairs–the appointments of faculty (sometimes with big perks, though not so much at Grinnell) as the X professor of Y. For example, my dissertation director, Stuart Curran, is Vartan Gregorian Professor of English.

I thought chairs might be more attractive if they were actual chairs. Give a distinguished professor the choice between an excellent desk chair or a good recliner for the old office, and we’re in business.

Then it hit me: the way to make chairs flat AWESOME would be to award bullpen cars! In an amazing coincidence, Joe Posnanski addresses this important issue today in a column on home run trots. You’re telling me a scholar won’t publish an extra book or two to ride to class in this?

As bullpen car

No! You are not telling me that!

So I’ll go ahead and inaugurate the blog tag “why I will never be a college president.”

Bonus note: Posnanski’s column links to the Tater Trot Tracker, which reveals that Adam Rosales has run out a regular home run faster than Aubrey Huff of my beloved Giants ran out his inside-the-park home run. Zounds!

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